Dear Condo Dwellers,

You purchased an apartment; calling yourself a “property owner” is borderline misrepresentation. You don’t own the land, nor do you have full authority over the capital. All you own is this little space inside a building, and many of you can’t even modify the space as you please. You’ve bought into a quasi-socialist living arrangement with near-complete strangers, and you borrowed money to do so. In net total, you’ll be lucky to break even in terms of lifetime expenses. Also, just because you pay property taxes directly, doesn’t mean you pay more property taxes than renters do. You just get to see how much you pay, and that knowledge allows you to be an unbelievable bore. If there was a biggest sucker contest in the world, a condo owner would win.

Hey, I have this pencil. It’s a fantastic investment, in an up-and-coming desk drawer. I’ve got a lot of interest already, so it won’t last. Asking price is $175,000, no money down. Any condo owners interested?

Sincerely,

Not a suburban sucker with a middle management job and a 42” flat screen.

I love reading the comments section on Chicago news article websites. They are always full of the strangest, most heated, and most hilarious arguments. This one in particular showed that someone has too much time and pent up anger on their hands.